Ughs! and Hips!

UGH!

That's the word that perfectly describes the feelings I've been experiencing lately...

~ I have major guilt about not being on the blog more... ugh! (it's funny how I had so much time to do this in Little Rock but little-to-none now!)

~ I can't seem to maintain balance in our new life... our old life PLUS a newborn... ugh!

~ I seem to be on a roller coaster of emotions--highs and lows--so much so that I feel as though my stomach is constantly flipping and there is a continuous blur on either side of me... ugh!

~ I've learned that everything is magnified through the lens of sleep deprivation... ugh!

~ Our life seems to be a state of "fast-forward" again. I want to slow down, push 'pause' and enjoy every moment!... ugh!

Adalynn is doing SUPER over all, but we have an ultrasound on Thursday to determine if she has hip dysplasia... This one is a SUPER "UGH!" because I found out that they are trying to pop her hip out of the socket during the ultrasound itself to see if there is a concern for her hip development... OUCH!, UGH! and I HATE SEEING MY LITTLE GIRL HURT!!!

The doctors said that it's fairly normal for breech babies to be checked for hip dysplasia because of their positioning in-vitro. And because Adalynn was without water for 5 weeks, it was even harder for her hip to develop without the fluidity. She already had one ultrasound at 6 weeks, and then they told me we needed to come back when she was 3 months to check it again. If they do find that there is a problem, she would need to see an orthopedic doctor. The doctor said it is better to have her hip corrected at this age than to wait until she's older. So we have peace in that if Adalynn needs a hip brace, she will be just fine... but I guess my mind keeps going to the fact that this is our miracle baby, this little girl had all the odds against her from the very beginning and she has passed every test up to this point with flying colors!

While pondering all of this, my mind went to the story in Genesis (chapter 32) about Jacob--when he wrestled with the angel. They wrestled all night and when the angel saw that when "he could not overcome Jacob, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched". Basically, Jacob kept battling and battling that the angel finally had to do something to get him to stop! And at daybreak, the angel said "let me go." Jacob wouldn't until the angel blessed him...

So I'm thinking that Adalynn was in a (9 month) wrestling match, that her hip was "touched", she overcame and was blessed! Again, she has battled everything that was against her--odds that she shouldn't have been conceived, odds that she wouldn't make it through the pregnancy and would miscarry, odds that she wouldn't be born without any problems, odds that she would be in NICU much longer than she actually was, odds that she wouldn't develop properly because she was a "preemie"... so I guess her battle scar is on her hip?! Oh, and she has a little angel kiss in between her eyebrows. I touch it all the time thinking that I'm kissing her along with an angel!

And then I think of all the prayer warriors that were out there "battling" for Adalynn and myself as well... We had so many people shooting up prayer-arrows for us that there is no doubt she'd (we'd) be victorious is this battle! Thank you O Mighty Warriors!

So I guess if Adalynn does indeed have hip dysplasia, it speaks more of what she has battled than what she will go through. This battle and its scar was meant to bring her a blessing... and yet, I think I'm the one most blessed of all. This little girl has brought so much to our lives through the joys and continued AHA moments. It seems as though God had a message to send the world through this Mirakel... hmmmm.

Through all of this... through the highs and lows... through the question mark on Adalynn's hip... I have learned that in every "ugh"--there's God. And in every battle, there's purpose...and a blessing. And like what was said just recently in our Draw Near study... "don't waste your pain"!


So Lord, we give Adalynn's hip to you... we know that you are in this and your will is perfect. I pray for little to no pain for her during her ultrasound... I pray for healing of her hip! But I know You can overcome anything that would "touch" her life. Thank you, Lord, for the battles (the "ughs"), thank you for the reminders of your love and blessings during our wrestling matches. Thank you for our Mirakel that has spoken your wisdom to me in so many ways already... I'm truly grateful.
...and Adalynn says, "Amen"!