February 18, 2009 - Surprise, surprise, surprise!

It began as a bright and normal Wednesday around the Olsen household on the day of my doctor's appt. And after I was through, I was planning to drop in and see a good friend of ours, Don Phillips, who was getting ready to have triple bypass surgery (BTW, I never did get to go see him at the hospital, but he came through surgery great!).

While at the doctor, we talked through the symptons and concerns... I had none, I felt GREAT! I just had a weird hardness in my abdomen area. I again confirmed with her that "I couldn't be pregnant, right?" She said, "I really don't see how you could be. You haven't had a cycle since the procedure, which would indicate that the lining was regenerating."

She then proceeded to do an initial exam ... [pause] ... I wish I could show you a picture of her (surprised-this-can't-be) face! ... [play] ... She then said incredulously, "You can't be pregnant! ... We're going to ultrasound."

[Pause again] ... At this point, tears started to come. Everything was flying through my mind (selfish thoughts)--I'm 38 years old...I already have three incredible kids...this messes up all my "plans"... this cuts 9 years into time with just Tom...how am I going to tell Tom? (selfish, selfish, selfish). By the way, Tom wasn't with me at the time, we had no reason to think he needed to be at this OB appointment, obviously.

[Play] ... We then went into ultrasound. It was confirmed! Not only was I pregnant, but I was already 16 weeks! Yikes! How could this happen?! (well, I KNOW how this could happen, but how could GOD let this happen?) Again, this wasn't at all what I pictured my future to look like!

Questions started rolling out to my doctor... "How is the baby being fed? I mean, there is no endometrial lining ... Does everything look okay?" ... and then, "I just feel so STUPID that I didn't recognize this before now!" All this while tears are rolling down my face.

My doctor was amazing--a calm in the midst of my storm. She told me that she could not medically explain how I got pregnant because the environment for the baby was certainly not optimal, but she then said, "...but I know you are a Christian, and I know that YOU know that God wants this baby in your family right now." Wow, she gave me a great dose of wisdom and reality--I mean TRUE reality. She knew how to get past my selfish heart.

Then while trying to process, I started reasoning out loud, "You know, I have a great and healthy marriage, I have three incredible kids at home that will be wonderful big brothers, I have two sets of amazing grandparents that will be HUGE in this baby's life, I have a wonderful support group through the rest of my family, church, bible studies, employment... why WOULDN'T God want to put a baby in this environment?"

It was beginning to sink in... and my life was now going into [fast forward].