You know those moments in life--during Worship, in a quiet time, watching a breath-taking sunset, sharing joys with your children, etc.--that bring you a certain joy that is beyond description? It's like you are feeling what Heaven might be like ... it's like seeing just a glimpse of Glory for one millisecond...
I absolutely, positively LOVE those moments! I call those my "holy moments." And I especially love it when the Lord reveals something to me within those times that my normally finite and exceptionally distracted mind didn't recognize until that very moment... That exact thing happened on Saturday morning, February 28 at about 5:30am.
I wasn't able to sleep much during those few days after finding out I was pregnant... My planner-mind was busy tasking and worrying. I was fretting about not having a crib, high chair, baby or maternity clothes, etc. And I was stressed about when I was going to paint my house, fix the staircase and rearrange rooms to create a nursery! I was still in the "I, I, I" phase...very selfish and not seeing the bigger picture.
I started with a pot of coffee and a quiet time and had begun to work on my Apples of Gold Bible study. We are doing the "Life Development Planner" and were putting our lives into a timeline, of sorts ... and my timeline (life) had certainly had some big changes! I kept feeling the urge to read the passage of scripture where Mary had responded upon hearing that she was pregnant with Jesus. I just wanted my heart to be like her heart--a servant's heart, moldable and ready & willing to be a part of God's plan no matter what. It says in Luke 1:30-38:
But the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, you have found favor with God. You will be with child and give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. The Lord God will give him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever; his kingdom will never end." "How will this be," Mary asked the angel, "since I am a virgin?" The angel answered, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you ... For nothing is impossible with God." "I am the Lord's servant," Mary answered. "May it be to me as you have said."
At that moment...the Word became ALIVE to me! In the first hours of knowing of this pregnancy, I had been joking about how the verse "Nothing is impossible with God" had a WHOLE new meaning to me... but I don't think I EVER realized that it (that verse) came from the angel in response to Mary's question of "how can this be?" (AHA & HOLY MOMENT) It was at that moment that I asked, "So this isn't about me, is it God?" I realized that He was doing something in and through this "miracle" pregnancy and baby that had great purpose. His power is made perfect in my weakness...His grace is sufficient...He alone is worthy... Who am I to get in the way of His amazing Plan?
I was crying pretty hard at this time... accepting reality, but most of all with relief that this "burden" wasn't a burden at all. Before this I was worried about my feelings, my comfort, my future, my...my...my... But this was a BLESSING. This was ordained. This was a God-thing! This was a holy moment of revelation unlike anything I had ever had before. (Thank you God for that!)
And then there was an amazing peace and acceptance that came over me... "may it be to me as you said, Lord."
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